Raising Toddlers is an Adventure, Embrace It
The negative descriptions of toddlers run rampant. It is common to describe the two-year-old stage as terrible. Instead of leaning into the negative ideas that make raising toddlers feel like an insurmountable task, there is another way to approach this stage that can be much more fulfilling. Toddlers are entering an exciting new stage where their personality and natural curiosity begin to shine through. They are encountering a brave new world that is still very new to them—the same way new romantic relationships are often seen as potentially the beginning of something great. Similarly, parents should see having a toddler as a new and exciting relationship full of hope and promise. These are a few tips that parents of toddlers can lean into.
1. Have Empathy!
Imagine what it must be like to be brought to a new world where everything is new and often much bigger than you. Particularly today, there are many new sounds, devices, and lights that seem to be coming from everywhere. There are always people telling you what to do, and it seems difficult for those people not to become frustrated with you even though you are doing your best. The overstimulating outside environment is matched only by internal confusion, which is also hard to understand, and you find it easy to feel overwhelmed. This is the life of a toddler. Parents can provide a welcoming space to process this overwhelming new world. Be highly responsive to their needs and give them permission to make mistakes.
2. Play!
Play is the favored language of youth. Join them.
Play allows toddlers to explore the world. Make sure to include play as a normal part of their routine and be willing to share in the experience. Play does not have to revolve around toys and structured play. Any exploratory task is seen as play for toddlers. Chase them, tickle them, and make a game out of daily routines.
3. Be creative!
The
toddler's brain is much more responsive to creativity and imagination. Including creative ways to learn, connect, and even play will lay the foundation for a deeper relationship in the long term. Tell stories both real and imagined. Sing a song while having dinner. Dance in the middle of the floor for no reason at all. Have a laughing party. Learn from your toddler since they are likely already doing these things.
4. Observe
Get to know your toddler. Watch them, and pay attention to what makes them who they are. How do they show up in the world? What do they like? Be available to explore this new relationship with wonder and curiosity instead of dread. Lean into the excitement of getting to know the little human that is blossoming before your eyes. Demonstrate that you care about what they care about. Celebrate what you learn about them. Help them see that they have a unique way of contributing to the world.
Toddlers will often surprise you with laughter and joy as they try to make sense of the world around them. My favorite thing about having small children is the surprising ways they interpret the world around them. When we focus on building a lasting relationship with our children instead of simply getting them to do what we want them to do, we get to enjoy a much more fulfilling parental experience and enrich their lives in unimaginable ways.
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Meet Your Author, Dr. Calvina Ellerbe
Dr. Ellerbe is an award-winning educator, TEDx Speaker, writer, parenting expert, and soon-to-be mother of six children who provide practical insights for parents to develop a fulfilling parenting experience. Her life's mission is to help parents thrive. Her motto is "If we heal families, we will heal the world."
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