The In & Out Breath In Parenting

So many of us leave healthy balance at the door because our jam-packed, productivity-filled lives don’t seem to allow for it. We begin to feel depleted because we’re constantly in “output mode” living in the “out-breath” of our lives.

Our society currently prioritizes never ending movement, whether it’s through school, work, or any other constant activity. This pressure weighs on us as an expectation to keep going and push down our needs for slow moments and times of replenishment.

The chronic output and intense productivity culture we live in truly takes a toll on all of us, parents and children alike. It affects us much more than we see because we’re so caught up in the constant out-breath. As a result, we may be more tired and irritable with our children, and our children may act out more often towards us.

With this awareness, we can create a space in our home to encourage resting and digesting, so we can regain balance in the home, in ourselves, and in our little ones’ nervous systems.

How can we create space for decompression and homeostasis in the home?

Creating space for decompression and the return to balance in the home is vital for all family members. It invites us to carve out intentional time in our lives to facilitate our child(ren)’s detox of the energy, stimuli, or sensory input they’ve been processing throughout the day or week. This is how we access the in-breaths of life.

In-breaths may look like reading a book together, relaxing and bonding without screens, resting and avoiding adventures or going out, etc. In-breaths are deeply focused times that allow us to regain the energy and vitality spent throughout the week or day.

You can create space for decompression by choosing a day or set time for your child(ren) to get the week or day’s energy out. Many of us may not have the privilege or capacity to set aside an entire day for decompression, so 10-20 minutes every day, or an hour or two every few days is also an effective option.

Choosing a time and day to create space for this mental and emotional detoxification will look different for every family, and is entirely dependent upon the dynamic in your home. Ultimately, you as the parent will know what is best for your family. Allow yourself to get creative in planning this time so it can be as refreshing and enjoyable as possible for everyone.

How can we support our children in their relaxation and decompression?

The family may be bored or anxious to go out, however this time isn’t necessarily for fun. It’s for the emotional and mental wellbeing of the family.

Embrace the pain of boredom, anxiety, and the pull to keep going during the time or day you’ve set the intention to decompress. Resist the urge to do what’s on your task list, to go on exciting, stimulating adventures, or any out-breath activities with the family during the time you intend to use for regaining balance.

Ultimately the benefits of engaging in this time, which may seem uncomfortable at first for you and your family, far outweigh any discomfort.

It may not be easy...

Going through with creating this space might not be easy, it actually may be very difficult.

There may be tantrums, huge emotions, and large manifestations of the energy pent up in your child(ren). Facilitating this detox may be difficult, however so needed for your child(ren), especially because it’s in those moments that they need us the most. This is one of the life-shifting skills our peaceful empowered parent coaches learn early on in their process of becoming certified because it changes so much in their relationships with their children. 

This time of stillness is not necessarily a WANT, but rather a NEED for your wellbeing and that of your family. Without this time, unreleased, built up energy and tension will find its way out in other ways, possibly creating disconnection within the family later on.

This new time of relaxation and renewal is for holding space and acts as a detoxification from the constant motion of our lives, and to give our family and ourselves the time to process, connect, and be still.

This place of stillness and fullness is the perfect foundation from which peaceful empowered parenting begins. 

 
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