What is Conscious Parenting? A Conversation with Jack Canfield

I think I first read Chicken Soup for the Soul around 2001. My eyes had been recently opened to the idea that we could become less of the person we didn’t like to be, and more and more of who we wanted to be… 

I was working in finance at the time, and my company sent me to a big personal growth event. To be honest, before that I was all about the money. Making it. Spending it. Flaunting it. The idea of being a person of purpose and impact was pretty foreign to me. I was living in the illusion that so many people do… that our achievements and material belongings defined our worth. 

That first event opened my mind. I started reading everything I could get my hands on, and Jack’s work touched me deeply. I would listen to his audios as I drove around Ohio, Indiana and Kentucky, selling mutual funds to stock brokers at Merrill Lynch and Smith Barney. 

So… that I had the opportunity, 20 years later, to spend time with Jack, and have him be so taken with our work here at The Jai Institute for Parenting is… well… something pretty amazing (and humbling!)

As a master of human transformation and evolutionary leadership, Jack Canfield gets it. He understands that if we can raise kids who have more emotional intelligence, compassion, and empathy, and who are able to communicate their feelings and needs without blame, shame or guilt, that the whole world will be a better place. 

He shared with me that he was so thrilled that we’d taken the very same ideas that he talks about in his work and made it practical for parents to learn how to become a more peaceful parent. 

I’d love for you to watch our conversation, but one of the things that I want to clarify is that this work is accessible to anyone. I think we sometimes hear words like “conscious” or “transformational” and we think that this is woo woo… pseudo-sciency stuff. Alternatively, we can think that “conscious” is better than “unconscious,” and perpetuate the hierarchy (that our Ego loves!) that keeps people from really understanding each other. 

I was “unconscious” before I stumbled into the world of personal growth and development. But I wasn’t less of a worthy person. I simply didn’t know what I didn’t know. I thought that who I was, and how I acted, was how things had to be! 

I didn’t know that I could learn new ways to feel my feelings, communicate my needs and make decisions based on my values and goals. 

This is all being “conscious” means… that we are aware of why we do what we do.

Here, we are simply applying this idea to conscious parenting, or what we have come to call our work… Transformational Parenting. 

As I shared with Jack, I’d love for us to get away from thinking about things as better or worse, right or wrong, and good or bad. It’s far more useful for us, as parents and leaders who want more for kids… to look at who we want to be and how we can move ourselves toward being that version of ourselves. 

We know, unequivocally, that when parents do the work of becoming conscious parents, their kids blossom. We are here to take a stand for children by giving parents the tools of personal transformation that will allow their children to have a better and better hope for their future. 

In this interview, I model a little bit about what that looks like in our day-to-day interactions with our kids, but I really want to make it clear… We aren't about giving tools, tips, tricks and how-to’s here in our work at Jai. It’s really hard to follow a communication framework when you’re overwhelmed, irritated or exhausted.

It’s impossible to find the space for empathy and collaboration when you’re stuck in a power struggle. It’s challenging to stay calm when your entire nervous system is on fire, flooded with fight or flight chemicals because your kids are bickering in the back seat, like mine were in the story I shared with Jack. 

Peaceful parenting… Conscious parenting… Transformational parenting… aren’t about giving parents the exact thing to say and do to get their kids to behave! 

This work is so much deeper than that. It’s about breaking generational patterns. It’s about really becoming a parent who doesn’t yell, instead of one who hopes to not yell. It’s about giving our kids the values and morals to guide them through their lives, not simply to get them to be well-behaved at the next family dinner. 

Our parent coaches are uniquely trained to do this life-changing work. 

I’m so glad that leaders in the personal growth field like Jack Canfield are supportive of the work we do to train parenting coaches in our Transformational Parenting Method™. I was *pretty* nervous to do this interview for his podcast, but our mission here is so big… I took a deep breath and said YES!

I hope you enjoy the conversation above.

Meet Your Author, Kiva Schuler
Jai Co-Founder and CEO

Kiva’s passion for parenting stemmed from her own childhood experiences of neglect and trauma. Like many of her generation, she had a front row seat to witnessing what she did not want for her own children. And in many ways, Jai is the fulfillment of a promise that she made to herself when she was 16 years old… that when she had children of her own, she would learn to parent them with compassion, consistency and communication. 

Kiva is a serial entrepreneur, and has been the marketer behind many transformational brands. Passionate about bringing authenticity and integrity to marketing and sales, she’s a sought after mentor, speaker and coach.