Unlocking Family Success: A Parent Coaching Approach

Imagine doing work in the world where you get to witness the transformation of a family system before your very eyes. A rewarding act of service that provides purpose and meaning to your life. 



Parent coaching is heart-centered work that uplifts both the client and the coach simultaneously.

But what is it exactly?

“We believe the more peace a parent has within, the more easily they can access tools of peace in their parenting practice.” – Jai Institute for Parenting

What Is a Parent Coach?

A parent coach is a professionally trained guide, mentor, and champion for parents who long for more inner peace in their parenting.

Here at Jai, we believe that the work of parents begins on the inside — cultivating inner peace, making sense of childhood, and grieving things we weren't given all create more space to be creative and lead from a more intentional parenting strategy.

Parent coaches support parents both in their inner worlds & functionally with their families and relationships.

Here at The Jai Institute for Parenting, we help parents build skills and learn tools for parenting with connection intact. We help prepare them to be able to live out their intentions instead of just trying on scripts or forcing themselves to act a certain way as parents. We work from the inside out. 

Here at Jai Institute, we support parents in shifting out of fear-based strategies (shame, control, manipulation, etc.) and into Empowered Parenting (rooted in connection, respect, empathy, secure attachment, placing clear boundaries, and conscious communication). 

Many of us were raised in a dominant fear-based parenting paradigm. This type of parenting creates a spectrum of people pleasing & obedience to extreme rebelliousness/disconnection from belonging in adulthood.

FEAR Based Parenting vs. Compassion for Fear Based Parenting

Fear-Based Parenting

Fear-based parenting is where we react from fears of seeing behavior and thinking about the worst-case scenario. We focus on the specific behavior and use tools to shift it, like punishment or reward. Then, we miss the opportunity to see the reasons why the behavior was happening in the first place. 

Compassion for Fear-Based Parenting

What cannot be emphasized enough is that our Jai Institute trained parent coaches are equipped with the empowered parent coaching model, which centers around the parent instead of the child. This means that we have a parallel process of curiosity - not just about what's under the child's behavior, but also the parent's. For example:

• What is motivating you to parent your children from a place of dominance, fear tactics, and behavioral control? 
• What within you as the parent needs tending, skill building, growth, and ultimately, release?

At Jai, we support our parents in the same way that we ask our parents to support their kids—without shame, judgment, or criticism. 

We practice self-compassion and forgiveness. This work requires humility as we break generational cycles and integrate/embody new tools for parenting from the inside out.

Finally, parent coaches offer a safe space for parents to speak honestly about their real, raw joys and celebrations, as well as the pain points that they long to evolve.

We support parents in bringing awareness here with grace and mercy. There are no sledgehammers breaking down unhealthy patterns at all costs! We move slowly, intentionally, and force-less-ly as we soften cycles of disconnection. 

The Empowered Parent understands that their level of integration with the skills & education/research/tools will be reflected in their own development of self-connection, secure attachment, and knowing of themselves & their past.

Generational patterns become conscious, and our clients gain the space to choose how they would like to proceed as empowered leaders of their family unit.

Deconditioning FEAR Within the Parent

We understand that the way we were parented as children becomes the way in which we relate to ourselves. If you were raised in a FEAR-based model, consider how you are currently operating from this framework within yourself. Can you relate to any of these statements?

1. I fear saying no to someone’s demand or request. If I do, they may become angry or disappointed with me. I cannot tolerate that stress. I say yes to keep the peace.



2. I place absurdly high expectations on myself. My best is simply not good enough. Even when I “succeed,” I don’t feel it. It’s never enough.

3. My voice is hidden and even stuck in my throat. I go silent when I need to voice my opinion, idea, desire, or need. Or, my voice is chronically desperate to be heard, and I find myself overpowering people in my life.

4. I don’t truly understand love or respectful intimacy. So much of my love within myself and for others is conditional, transactional, or rooted in control and scarcity. 

This is the work that parent coaches explore with their clients.

And yes, along the way, tools and techniques to help a 3-year-old potty train or conversation tips with a tween will happen, too! When the parent is using tools and techniques from more self-connectedness, awareness, and esteem, the tools work.

The connection, intimacy, and security of attachment within the parent are the foundation for the successful implementation of parenting tools. 

Success can still happen without these three components perfectly embodied in the parent. And yet, imagine how much more flow, ease, and resiliency we can have through tough moments in our parenting with these components intact.

What Is Child Centric Parent Coaching?

What separates parent-centric coaching from child-centric coaching is our understanding that the parent is the ultimate tool. The relationship between the parent and child determines the success of any other behavioral management or skill teaching. 

There, of course, may be times when it makes more sense to get curious about a child's behavior and then zoom out to the family system. 

It's all intertwined within patterns. 

It's like how, in an intimate relationship, both partners come with their own package of patterns to navigate. As they create their lives together as a family, they work to heal those patterns in themselves as parents while honoring their child's uniqueness and the uniqueness of the family system in co-creation.

An example can be a child who feels anxiety during transitions from home to the outer world. A child-centric approach would begin with trying to understand the “why” behind the child’s anxiety.

Are they nervous because they don’t know what to expect? Can the parent support the child by cuddling up with them the night before and talking to them about what to expect the next day? Or, maybe the child remembers the last time they went out when the environment was very crowded, noisy, and overwhelming. The child fears they will feel all of those uncomfortable sensations again but can’t communicate it to the parent.

A parent-centric approach begins with the parent. We do not disregard trying to understand the child’s experience or workshopping innovative and creative strategies to support the child in feeling safe, secure, and confident. This is essential! And we begin with us, first.

Let’s take the same scenario from the parent’s perspective.

What is it like for them to witness their child’s anxiety? How does the parent respond? What does the parent say? What does this bring up for the parent? What generational patterns are present here, consciously or not?

Once the parent has a bit more clarity and self-connection in their role as leaders, they also have more space to receive tips and tricks to connect successfully with their child.

The Future is Parent Centric

Jai parent coaches are fueled with clarity that the way to transform a family is to begin by supporting the parent. When a parent has more self-awareness, self-compassion, connection, and skills, we will move away from hyper focusing on managing our children’s behavior and development. This gives children the space they need to develop their own self-awareness and self-correction.

Conscious, empowered parenting begins with us as adults.

If you feel ready to be part of a transformational force and change the way you parent and help others around you, sign up for our free info session on How to Become An Empowered Parenting Coach and experience the peace and connection within your family.