Parent Coaching Blog

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What if even your hardest patterns held hidden strengths? When parents begin exploring attachment, many are surprised to discover that they fall somewhere on the spectrum of insecure attachment, even when they believed they had a “perfect childhood” with “great parents.” The most common insecure attachment styles include: Avoidant Anxious or Ambivalent Disorganized (a combination of avoidant and anxious tendencies) It’s a story we hear often in parent coaching: A client comes in thinking they’re securely attached, only to uncover deeper layers of relational patterning shaped by unmet needs, emotional inconsistency, or the absence of safety. And that realization can bring up grief, defensiveness, or guilt. Because it’s vulnerable to admit that our childhoods were less than ideal, and even harder to hold that truth without blaming the parents who raised us. But here’s what’s also true: All parents are doing the best they can with what they have. And sometimes, that wasn’t enough. The invitation isn’t to diagnose or shame ourselves, but to see the brilliance in our adaptation. Insecure attachment doesn’t mean we’re broken. It means we adapted to survive. Our nervous systems found ways to seek safety, love, and connection, even in less-than-ideal environments. And these adaptations? They come with hidden superpowers.