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It’s not a great feeling… That quiet ache when you hear yourself say something your parents once said to you… that felt awful for you as a child. Or when you see your child’s face fall, and it reminds you of a moment you remember all too well. Sometimes, the hardest part of parenting isn’t managing our children. It’s meeting the younger version of ourselves that still lives inside us. You want to do better, to parent differently. But “different” doesn’t always come naturally when your nervous system was shaped by what you’re trying to unlearn.

Maybe you’ve been here before… Your child hesitates before showing you a drawing. They look up, searching your face. “Do you like it?” they ask. You smile, of course! “It’s beautiful!” But then you might notice how their eyes stay on you a little too long, waiting for something more than praise. In that tiny moment, you can feel it: they’re checking to see if they’ve earned your approval. We all want our children to feel proud, to do well, to care about how their actions affect others. But when love becomes something they have to work for, through achievement, behavior, or compliance, the foundation of safety begins to wobble.

Real life parenting scenarios from within the coaching world of Jai












